The Hills has hills. HAHA

The Hills is a beautiful thing. No, it really is. I don't think I've had this much enjoyment out of a reality show in quite some time. I mean, come on. How could you go wrong? Between Heidi's excessive amounts of plastic surgery, Kristin doing coke, and Spencer getting crazier by the minute (probably induced by his healing crystals) there is no way anyone could say that this show is not at it's peak.

Really though, the show has become about Spencer and Heidi. Andddd that's it. I really do not care about Audrina and the love triangle with my 90s/early 2000s crush Ryan Cabrera, and the oh-so-hot Brody Jenner. I just don't. And I don't care that Kristin is being as fake as ever, trying to get Brody's attention. I really don't want to see Justin Bobby anywhere, because he's disgusting and looks homeless most of the time and Lo never has an interesting story line and she probably should have left when LC did. And do we really miss LC? No because Kristin is funnier and bitchier, and that makes for good television.

But anyway, Heidi and Spencer. So at the beginning of the season Heidi unveils her plastic surgery (though if you're as obsessed with celebrities as I am you probably had already seen it) to her mother. Her mother outright tells Heidi she does not look like herself and does not look good. Why Heidi got 10 surgeries is beyond me. She was so pretty before. Obviously Spencer and his critique on her features and all around self had something to do with her choice. But everyone was shocked by her surgeries and felt she was "frozen" or looked "plastic." While this is going on, we see Spencer living on edge. He is now obsessed with this alleged calming remedy- crystals that he wears around his neck at all times. But Spencer is anything from calm. In fact, he appears to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown- He yells at his sister who in no way provoked an argument, said hurtful and mean things to and about Heidi's mom and sister, ran out of the house and slammed the door on Heidi's sister, made his own sister and Heidi's cry and fear for their own lives. He is off his rocker.

Nothing though was as good as the last episode- Enzo's party. Now, who is Enzo? Enzo is a 7 year old boy that Heidi threw a party for and invited all her friends. There was an elephant, and a petting zoo, and Brody Jenner all in one party! If this isn't weird in  itself, Spencer claims that this party is "the most fun he has had in awhile" and as he says this he pets a goat. The entire time he's just petting this goat. Later in this episode, he insults Heidi's mother and sister, and Heidi does not defend either. This is the same episode he runs out on Heidi's sister, slams the door and screams at her. He goes from one extreme to the next. Obviously this guy has some real issues (he isn't talking to anyone in his family at the moment according to Perez, so obviously....there's something wrong. What, we probably won't know until he's diagnosed with being crazy as fuck).

But sadly, after a climax such as this one, there is no way anything will be able to follow it. So for now, we're just going have to bask in the rays Spencer's crystals reflect. Oh...so that's what they're really there for. I get it now.

So let's get excited for tonight's episode!

Music Television without the Music

The network Music Television or MTV, would like to broadcast this public service announcement: it does not purposely intend to distort reality.   It does not mean to play insignificant reality TV shows on repeat for days at a time, rendering its content completely irrelevant to its name. It doesn’t portray “the tool” as the average American, nor does it assert that the only women worth watching are those living the rich and glamorous life in New York or California, concerned with their latest hookup or blow out with a friend.  It doesn’t aim to showcase pregnant teenagers as a proud aspect of today’s culture and it doesn’t promote clubbing each night like Snooki, Jwoww, and Mike “The Situation” from The Jersey Shore as a prominent example of living life to the fullest potential.  And if it ever did anything of the sort, it promises a better future in Music Television.

            Whether you are an advocate of MTV’s newly found love for trashy reality shows or an adamant protestor of its inability to play actual music and contribute something worthwhile to television, everyone must agree that MTV has encountered a reality slump.  It doesn’t know light from dark, black from white, reality from script, and actual music videos from an individual’s “real life” drama.  Therefore, in this jumble of chaotic ideas and concepts, MTV spits up its loosely conceived vision of reality, one of attention-starved twenty-something’s, itching for their fifteen minutes of fame, as well as a lack of music videos.  What has happened to the once musically inclined channel?

            In a rapidly changing, technology-infused culture, it’s no wonder MTV has expanded its roots.  Perhaps, executives just realized that the encompassing name of Music Television “was too limiting.”* And indeed, this appears to be the truth.  As recently as February 2010, MTV redesigned its logo, excluding the “music video tag line altogether.” This action seems to demonstrate that the once musically centered network has accepted its new role in television, refusing to risk becoming irrelevant.  Not only this, but the internet has allowed music and all music videos to become more easily accessible.  Rather than sitting around watching music videos on television and thinking, “I wonder when Lady Gaga’s ‘Telephone’ is going to play,” I could just pull the video up instantly via the web.  Oh, how simple life has become.

            Though this is all true, how did a television channel focused on music gravitate towards reality television shows?  Well, all MTV did was give the people what they wanted. MTV’s starting reality shows such as The Real World and Road Rules really struck a chord with the teenage demographic, which became its new target audience.  From shows of this nature sprouted others such as Jackass and 16 and Pregnant, followed by shows with a more scripted plotline (but deemed as reality) such as Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, The Hills, The City, and The Jersey Shore.  These are all shows focused on younger individuals (so as to appeal to its viewers), living the outrageous and drama-filled life that is unrealistic, but entertaining for the audience.  This lack of realism stems from the producers, who partially egg on unnecessary drama as noted when watching the content.  For example, there is no way that two girls living in L.A. who blatantly dislike each other would end up at the same café, despite there being hundreds of cafés in the area.  Therefore, the producers set up this meeting for the sake of entertainment.  This obvious desire for drama from the viewers has diminished the necessity for music videos, especially since they are more easily accessible elsewhere.  Though MTV began sucking in more and more viewers through its new programming, it began to lose all grasp of reality’s railing.

            MTV slowly began to slip as each reality show placed into its programming lineup became more unrealistic and ridiculous than the next, failing to recognize what reality for its viewers actually is.  MTV’s first batch of shows embodied the true sense of reality TV, without the scripted lines and predetermined plots.  For example, The Real World focuses on the “real” relationships eight strangers create while living in a house together with cameras recording their every word.  Of course, the audience views this show as realistic as life itself because no individual would ever fake drama for the sake of entertainment!  Though shows like The Real World still play on MTV today, the network moved on to a new series of shows, what critics consider to be “scripted reality shows,” or essentially reality shows with scripted lines and some already written drama (essentially The Laguna Beach type of show).  Each program MTV adds to its listings is more ludicrous than the next, displaying anything but the average life lived by their viewers.  Rather than presenting the typical teenager’s life, what MTV exhibits instead is the fabulous, rich life of Orange County snobs, or a film of disillusionment that clouds the life of fist pumping guidos.  No matter what MTV depicts, the portrayal is the farthest from reality, despite naming its programming as such.

            By avoiding the entire concept of its name, MTV has cut all ties from its own reality, allowing the network to reside in a dream-like state.  Without music, MTV is just television.  Since television is what the viewers make it, MTV is just a false reality, that is, whatever reality its viewers desire.

            If anything, the lack of music from MTV’s network just demonstrates that what the critics say is true: change is inevitable.