"I invented the poof"

I could have probably just made a blog about the Jersey Shore the way I'm going, but that probably would have been a bit much. Regardless, there's still so much I feel like needs to be said about the show. This entry...is dedicated to my personal favorite, Snooki. Now maybe I just like Snooki because I can relate to her midget status (me being 5' 0.5''). Or maybe I just find everything she says and does absolutely ridiculous. Either way, this post is going to count off my favorite Snooki moments.

5."If I had to have sex with one person here, it would probably be him, because I know he's a nice guy, he's gotta be clean." (on the cowboy Keith)
Snooki only goes for juice-head guidos, so what attracted her to the cowboy Keith? Well maybe it was that he was genuinely a nice guy, with no brain inside his head. He hung out with her all night, but didn't even sleep with her. He covered her ass when it was hanging out, and she insisted that she's not trashy unless she's drunk. But Keith didn't care. He was there for her. That is, until she actually wanted a date from him. Bye Bye Cowboy.

4. "Pickles is my thing"
Wearing a "Pornstar in Training" neon pink trucker hat, Snooki emerges from her room, and heads directly for the kitchen.  She takes out a jar of pickles and clutches one in her hand, sucking deeply on the pickle, similarly to how one might attack a nice juiced-guido Italian sausage, getting alllllllllll the juice out. Is this a euphemism for a "dirty act?" Nope. This is real life.

3. "I love the Jersey Shore, I love being a guidette, but I'm not feeling it right now. I’m the princess of Poughkeepsie but here I’m nobody.”

Upon moving into the house, Snooki didn't like not being the center of attention (I mean the world does revolve around her right?). She almost left because she couldn't deal with it, but she stuck it out and had the summer of her life!  She never became the princess of the Jersey Shore along with Poughkeepsie, but honestly isn't she much more than that? She is queen of the guidettes.


2.  "I’m not pissed off that they put pickles under my bed as a joke, but I’m pissed off that Mike and Pauly wasted two pickles."

Oh yes, more pickles. Always and forever will the pickles lines be some of the greatest.  Mike and Pauly decided to play a joke on her in which they cut up pickles (it was wayyyy more than two) and they placed them under her bed, since she just loves "pickles" so much.  She ends up finding them and is just confused really. She liked the joke, but now she's out of pickles. It was a sad day in the Jersey Shore house when Snooki was out of pickles.

1. You all know what the number one Snooki moment is of all time. Of course, it was the monster punch to the face. "THOSE SHOTS AREN'T FOR YOU" and then wham. Knocked out. "Please don't tell me I have missing teeth!" Snooki took one for the team, let's be honest. How a girl ever gets punched in the face by some random guy is beyond me. She must have been really obnoxious.

Haven't seen the infamous clip? Check it out here, over and over and over again.

I'm the princess of the Jersey Shore, now.